Endless Conversing

Your friendship has become
Salve to soothe my troubled soul.
Who would have known
You were out there, knowing me
And I knowing you, although
We only now just met?
My mind and heart
Run rampant with things to say
To inform you of all details of life
And yet words mean nothing.
My soul talks to yours
In language all its own
Words are only punctuation
To endless conversing.

Fell from my Own Grace

I irresponsibly fell from my own grace.

The pedestal I constructed for myself

Lost its stability and I came tumbling

To the hard earth.

Setting unattainable standards

For myself and others

Yet always having hope

That neither of us will falter.

What is it within me

That strives to succeed, and then

Pushes the finish line further away

Just as my proud heart nears it?

Perhaps it’s the internal drive

To pursue, to challenge, to dream, and

Of never wanting to be someone

Who did not live up to their potential.

Stamping an Invisible Impression

I awoke from my dream state, bewildered.
Wasn't I just in another world?
Seeming so real, I stumbled back to reality.
Weren't you beside me, whispering in my ear?
What was it you said?
I only remember smiling,
Glad to have you by my side.
The wisdom of your words
Penetrating my mind and heart
It all made sense then, but now escapes me.
In the twilight of my dreams
Lies the altered world of possibilities
Where anything can happen -
Stamping an invisible impression on my soul.

Fuzzy Focus

Yesterday I was in the middle of a long drive on the South Florida turnpike. It was sunset on a beautiful day. The sky looked like it was on fire - stoked with low clouds, it burned dark red, burnt orange, and faded into dark shadows. I passed a lake and noticed the striking colors reflected on its surface, encompassed by the treeline's black edge and a large imposing mountain on one end. Being so beautiful, I savored it in my mind and captured the scene into memory so I could view it the rest of the evening. Such a gorgeous, unusual sight. Seconds after passing it, I realized that there is no such thing as a mountain in South Florida. I looked closer and realized I was driving by the landfills that boarder each side of the highway in this region. What I had considered a magestic mountain was a pile of trash reaching about seven stories high, and there was a good chance that the serene lake was not for swimming! How quickly my perception of the landscape changed. Then I realized, there really is beauty in everything, sometimes our lens just need to be a little out of focus in order to see it clearly.

Breathing Underwater

Overwhelmingly my heart screams - "STOP CHOKING ME!", yet my mind tightens its grip. Out of balance, neither works well. Internal yin & yang trying to co-exist in the same body. My heart must learn to think and my mind must learn to love, or surely I'm on the path to eternal sorrow. It's as simple as breathing underwater with an air tank - all about retraining the mind and body to feel when it would normally be wrought with panic. Perhaps cooperation is the key, with a dose of faith, and safety is the destination.

Hurried Heart

Another hectic morning was looming as I hurriedly ran out of the house, arms full of the supplies I would need to run my errands. I looked down as I locked the front door, and noticed an unwelcome gift from my cat – a large dead rat lay next to my front walkway. I knew I didn’t have the time to deal with it right then, so I made a silent promise to take care of it as soon as I returned. I also made a mental note to add a pet store errand to my list today to purchase a collar with a bell on it, so I wouldn’t have to handle this again in the future.

Upon returning home and getting settled, my mind travelled to the chore of disposing the disgusting, potentially diseased, dead animal, who quite easily matched the “rat” as opposed to “mouse” category, by my front walk. Shovel in hand, I opened the front door, facing a task I did not want to do. Rain was pouring down now, heavily, so I went back in to get a raincoat. When I reappeared, I looked down at the lifeless creature.

The rain had smoothed its soft gray fur in a line down its neck and back, appearing as if someone had made a gentle part to expose delicate white skin. Raindrops continued to fall on its velvety tender ears and they bent with the pressure of each drop, then back up again. I felt my heart start to soften for this hapless creature who met an untimely death after years of surviving on this planet. Its long black whiskers no longer twitched, and its dark eyes held no sight. In this moment, I realized that this little life, as all life, is sacred and in need of respect. I prepared the earth for its burial and sent a silent prayer to the heavens for its tiny soul.

In this experience I realized that there are still times when I judge the moment based on my own perceptions, my own reality. These usually happen when I am in a hurry, caught up in my world of things that need to be done, schedules that need to be kept, time that needs to be spent certain ways. When I take a moment to slow down, to breathe, to focus – awareness will creep in and whisper a life lesson into my ear. As we all go through our hurried days, are there not more times like these, when we can see the alternative to our own perceptions, our own way of seeing our world, and open our hearts to new insights? ---Angela Frisby

Low Battery

I was in a hurry on Wednesday. An appointment had run late and I had several errands to run before I needed to pick up my daughter from school and rush to the next activity. My mind was racing with items that I continuously prioritized to accommodate an already too-tight schedule. I quickly turned into the school pick-up line, just in time to secure a coveted spot. The sky opened wide and rain fell quickly and hard around my car. I had a few minutes to jot down the items that I was worried would be forgotten if not documented somewhere, so I turned off the engine and took out my daily notebook.

All around me lightning popped and thunder boomed. I sat there emptying my brain on paper as well as thinking up more items that needed to be completed by the end of the week. I had one minute left before school released so I tried to start my car. It would not start. I turned the key again, nothing happened. After sending a quick plea to the Universe, still nothing. I frantically checked my surroundings.

Car in park? Check. Lights off? Check. Radio and Air Conditioner off? Check. Cell phone charger unplugged? Check. I try the key again, and still nothing. I take a breath and scan the car. What could it be, I had only sat here for about fifteen minutes with the lights and radio on, how could a battery die so quickly? Then I saw it. The tell-tale little green light attached to an outlet – my navigator was the culprit. My coveted navigator. It has been by-far the best present I’ve ever received because not only does it get me where I’m going, it gives me the quickest, most reliable route, and an estimated time of arrival, so I can plan my next activity with efficiency. I unplugged the navigator and once again tried the ignition. It started immediately.

Once my daughter was securely in the car, I started off again to the next item on my list. Then I started thinking about how a dead battery could relate to my life. Here I was, stressed out and tired from trying to get too much done in a day, and my personal battery was low. As this awareness became more clear, I then thought about what items in my life are using my energy, and which ones are practically draining me. I realized it was time to unplug my personal navigator and take a rest without anything scheduled and without worried thoughts running rampant through my mind. It was time to recharge.

How about you? Are you aware of the areas in your life that drain your energy? How low is your personal battery, and is it time to recharge it? What steps could you take to bring it back to full charge? Good luck! -- Angela Frisby