The Anger Escaped

My lips deceived me with a smile.

I wanted to stay angry because angry was where I wished to be, but my heart just wasn’t in it.

The anger had escaped me so quickly I could almost hear the whoosh as it left my being.

I find it is more and more difficult for me to stay angry about anything or toward anyone for long, any more. There was once a time, actually quite an expanse of time, when the anger would burn out the brown in my eyes, turning them to dark coals smoldering. It would absorb me, become one with me, as I embodied it. In those moments, I felt thoroughly justified in whatever thoughts were verbally flung from my mouth. There was no bending – everything black/white, yes/no, and absolutely no room for interpretation.

I am so very grateful that those moments now escape me.

It’s not that I do not get angry, it’s more of creating a suspension in time. Moments pass between the incident and my reaction. It gives me time to breathe, to consider, to decide how I would like to react to the event. Sometimes just the awareness that I have a choice in deciding how I want to react is enough for me.

It has also been a realization that this time suspension has not released me of my power, but has, in fact, given it to me.