Perceptions are everything to us. They filter information from our surroundings to create our own personal realities. I was deeply reminded of this a few years ago.
I had a dog named Gypsy that I loved with all my heart. I adopted her from an animal shelter my second year of college and she was my constant companion. Through bouts of ill health and both having wicked stubborn streaks, we learned much from each other. She saw me through relationships and jobs, she fell in love with the man who became myhusband, and she watched intently as our daughter grew from a baby to a child. After being by my side for almost 14 years, she started showing signs of illness. My vet confirmed that it was kidney failure and the end was near. He asked me if I wanted to go ahead and end her life for her, but I just couldn’t do it, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet. I cried for days as I watched her getting skinnier and skinnier. She would hardly eat but she seemed to keep such a good attitude, looking at me as if nothing was wrong. The second week after her diagnosis, she was a walking skeleton but she managed to perform her Houdini act of sneaking out of the fence and wandering the neighborhood – one of her favorite past-times. I came home from work that day to find her sitting in the front yard – instead of my usual scolding, I was amused that she still had it in her to explore. I noticed there was a message on my answering machine and as I played it my heart broke. The woman said, “I found your dog today and I’m calling the number on her tag. You should be ashamed of the way you treat this sweet dog, you must starve her to death – you don’t deserve to own her! She ran away from me before I could get her in my house but I hope she never returns to you, she needs someone who would actually love her!” Her voice became louder as she screamed, “I hope you never own another dog again – you should be reported to the authorities!”
The pieces of my heart, already broken, now shattered. To be accused of doing this to my longtime friend was so hard to hear. My first reaction was to call her back and angrily defend myself. I thought more about it. I was proud of this woman for defending this dear animal. Good for her to speak for those that can’t speak for themselves. Through her perception, she was correct and I would feel the same way – how dare someone mistreat my sweet Gypsy! What good would come from me correcting her? It may stop her from speaking up the next time when it is warranted. So I let the issue lie with my admiration of her.
It was a good lesson for me, though. Each time I believe that someone is in disagreement with my viewpoint, I stop for a minute and think of this woman’s perception. She was right and I was right at the same time, and yet we had opposing perceptions. In an effort to enhance individual evolvement, I challenge each of you, as I challenge myself, to contemplate the other person’s perception in all circumstances. Respecting someone’s perception, even though it may be conflict with our own truth, may be the key to true understanding.
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